It was a bad plan. Too many things we couldn't... didn't have control over. God, I don't even know where to start....
[He can't meet Yurick's eyes, and doesn't make any move to break his hold on his shoulders.]
He knew. When we were all busy finding reasons to stay in denial, he was doing research, and he knew, and he tried to get as far away as possible when it hit the point where he'd... change.
[Wide-spread old trees. Moonlight. Plumes of fog in the air from their breathing - a small form crumpled on the ground with no such evidence of life.
He isn't back there there. He isn't there. He isn't. He's standing on an airplane like nothing he's ever seen. Revisiting this is making how that makes him feel even worse. It's easy to hide everything behind "no problem!" when he doesn't have to think about it. It's easy to live for the future when he can focus on the present, and it's easy to accept the past cannot be changed when there isn't a piece of it standing before him with his face the very picture of determination. ]
When we caught up, he was already... you ran to him, I tried to stop you but you broke away and... he was disoriented, when he woke up. Starving. They always are when they first wake up, and you were right there, and... and I can't teleport, I couldn't do anything -
[His voice breaks, and he breaks away from Yurick then, one hand flying to cover his mouth as the other stops him from falling against the nearer wall. He doesn't actually vomit, but it's a near thing.
There's so much blood. It's not that blood bothers him, but blood on his brother's face, blood coming from his brother's throat, blood steaming in unreasonably cold air - eyeshine just as red in the headlights of the car - ]
I wanted to give you both a better chance, a better world, and instead... instead I got you both killed. Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore... I mean, it's not like I can change it.
cw: mild vampire-media-typical gore, a near miss with vomiting, kinda-sorta-maybe-PTSD
[He can't meet Yurick's eyes, and doesn't make any move to break his hold on his shoulders.]
He knew. When we were all busy finding reasons to stay in denial, he was doing research, and he knew, and he tried to get as far away as possible when it hit the point where he'd... change.
[Wide-spread old trees. Moonlight. Plumes of fog in the air from their breathing - a small form crumpled on the ground with no such evidence of life.
He isn't back there there. He isn't there. He isn't. He's standing on an airplane like nothing he's ever seen. Revisiting this is making how that makes him feel even worse. It's easy to hide everything behind "no problem!" when he doesn't have to think about it. It's easy to live for the future when he can focus on the present, and it's easy to accept the past cannot be changed when there isn't a piece of it standing before him with his face the very picture of determination. ]
When we caught up, he was already... you ran to him, I tried to stop you but you broke away and... he was disoriented, when he woke up. Starving. They always are when they first wake up, and you were right there, and... and I can't teleport, I couldn't do anything -
[His voice breaks, and he breaks away from Yurick then, one hand flying to cover his mouth as the other stops him from falling against the nearer wall. He doesn't actually vomit, but it's a near thing.
There's so much blood. It's not that blood bothers him, but blood on his brother's face, blood coming from his brother's throat, blood steaming in unreasonably cold air - eyeshine just as red in the headlights of the car - ]
I wanted to give you both a better chance, a better world, and instead... instead I got you both killed. Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore... I mean, it's not like I can change it.