sorry for your loss

[cuteandinnocentpet]

[When people are returned to the main floor, they will find a trail of cupcakes from the elevator to the dining room. There is a table of drinks, pills, and cupcakes and cakes from the automat.

And on the table, in the center, is this asshole, with a party horn in its mouth. Despite that, it talks into everyone's mind.]

As you strangers tend to have a tradition of parties after an execution, I took the liberty. The plates and cups are over there.

[. . .

be merry I guess]

Comments

[comesaround]

[ He's quiet for a few moments, as if debating what to say right now with the chaotic amount of emotions rolling around his head. Eventually, Karma lowered his arm from over his eyes and finally looked over to Caleb and what might be extremely obvious was the quiet pain hidden behind his eyes.

The look of someone who's just not quite sure how to handle himself right now. ]

Yeah? Then... answer me this...

[ Karma hesitated, inhaling sharply as his gaze slowly tracked down to the floor. ]

Being tough sounds easy... pretending you don't care... but why does it still hurt so damn much?

[katzenpfote]

[He inhales sharply before letting it out slow and steady. Oh, how often he has pondered that.]

Because pretending you don't care and actually not caring are two different things. And once you pass the latter in all of your relationships, it's difficult to come back.

In a way, it's good that you still feel hurt. It means you're still feeling at least somewhat normal emotions, which are important to judge situations.

[comesaround]

Important...?

[ For a second his voice almost sounded hoarse, repeating that single word and letting it linger before closing his eyes. ]

Sure doesn't feel that way right now. This hurt... is like someone's ripping me to pieces from the inside. I don't... want to feel it, even... if it makes me remember how human I am.

[ Karma really hadn't stopped to consider that this is the worst loss he's ever felt in his entire life, and that was the only way to describe it. Though maybe it was a blessing that Caleb was here, because this meant he really could just be blunt and lay it all out there without a second thought. ]

...The stupid thing... is that if these people who'd died... were complete strangers to me? It wouldn't hurt as much and I could just go on... as if nothing happened.

[katzenpfote]

Of course you wouldn't care as much. Friends tend to be a higher priority in general.

But I've been the cold assassin with no emotions before. At least none that I recognized, other than pride. It didn't end well for anyone.

Feelings hurt. I won't lie about that at all. But they're part of what keeps you grounded.

[He lets out a long, slow breath.]

You can mourn the ones you lost. Of course you can. But they and we need you to go on. It's the only way we'll make those bastards pay.

[He slips into German Zemnian.]

And the best part is that I think we will all enjoy seeing things crash down around their little plans. We will not be toys for them any longer.

[comesaround]

[ It was honestly rather nice having someone around who took his words and didn't sit there and berate him for saying something that came off as a fair bit callous. Such a thing helped him be able to just nod numbly and listen, exhaling a soft breath he hadn't even been conscious of actually holding in until now. ]

Yeah. You're... right about that. If I didn't feel that... I'd be no better than those damn hosts of ours, wouldn't I?

[ Remembering to breathe was key here and he was indeed taking in everything the best he could. Not pushing away the hurt eating away at his chest, but rather... trying to embrace and accept it. Something made just a little easier by hearing those firm, unwavering words in Zemnian, and he chuckled softly. ]

I agree. I'm... done being a pawn for them. I still have to pay them back for what they've done and I want it to HURT.

[ Sure his delivery was still a tiny bit stilted and not the greatest ever but at least he could respond back relatively easy. He even moved, shifting so he could properly sit up, and while he wasn't back at 100%, Karma at least started to find that willingness to try and get past what hurt, to focus on what was necessary. ]

[katzenpfote]

Of course.

And it will. ... I may have gone a bit out of control during the trial, but whenever we get to IT I will help you.

[comesaround]

[ Something about this was strangely encouraging in a way, and while it wouldn't completely fix how in pain he was? It was doing enough that he could cling to this until this whole damned mess was done and over with. Akira and Kurama wouldn't want him losing himself to that agony, not with the promise he has to fulfill. ]

Out of control? Heh. Actually I almost want to ask about some pointers on that stuff... but as for the other thing... Thanks. It's good to know I have someone like you helping me out.

[ Of the many things he never saw happening in his life? A time where he'd be talking with a guy from a fantasy-land filled with demons and magic, while using the German he'd picked up during school. ]

[katzenpfote]

I don't like remembering that part of my life, but if we need to do it, I can.

[He reaches over and puts a hand on Karma's shoulder, ready to pull it away if the boy looks uncomfortable.]

I am here for you. If you need to have someone around, I can do that. Arthur's sleeping on my couch, but we can pull together some cushions if we need to.

[comesaround]

[ He nodded, that fire definitively back and burning within his eyes. Enough that it dwarfed the still lingering sadness that remained there in the background; likely a permanent addition until they finally resolved things in the game. ]

It'll just be a couple things and then I promise you can go back to not ever thinking about it, okay?

[ That was enough to stop him short, blinking almost owlishly for a moment as that wasn't what he was expecting at all. He certainly wasn't uncomfortable by any means, thankfully. ]

You've got quite a bit on your hands, already dealing with poor Arthur. Wouldn't really wanna add to that.

[ He does smile though, and it actually looks genuine. ]

I do appreciate the offer, but I should be fine enough to be on my own. It's good enough knowing you're here for me.

[katzenpfote]

Nonsense. There's always room. ... We need to stick together, after all.

But I'm... glad that it helps. That I can be helpful...

[comesaround]

That is true. [ His expression softens a bit, briefly. ] I'm also just worried about crowding that house of yours since I doubt it's meant to have three people staying in there.

[ Karma nodded without so much as a second thought, closing his eyes briefly. ]

You're probably one of the most helpful people here, actually. Got a good head on your shoulders, so that definitely helps.

[katzenpfote]

I sleep in a ten foot dome with six other people, I am well used to smelling nighttime farts.

... I try. It... it helps to have dealt with high amounts of mental pressure before. And to have people by your side while doing it.

[comesaround]

[ Oh. He wasn't expecting a comment like that. It's enough that it brings out genuine, honest laughter from him in that moment. ]

Point taken. How am I ever to argue against that sound reasoning?

[ He hummed a bit before giving a small nod once more. ]

Having people support you in tough times is definitely important so I get that. It certainly made the difference tonight.