15strangers | Afterparty Buffet

Afterparty Buffet

[So, that trial sure happened, didn't it? And on nearly empty stomachs, no less. That's why people might catch Alastor headed for the kitchen as soon as they're out of the theater, obviously intent on making food. He's in there a while, actually, and the hallway outside of it smells strongly of some rather tasty food.

What he's up to will become clear when he goes around to tell people to visit the mess hall. There, he's set up a varied buffet on one of the tables, all of various foods easy to serve in small portions. This includes small slices of beef only very lightly seared on the outside, but also more fully cooked fare, and even a few fruit and vegetable dishes. Plus the requisite spread of alcohol, because it sure has been A Day, huh?

...Also, while Hermes obviously doesn't eat, he still gets the instructions to go to the mess hall. Huh.]

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No, I didn't. Kayano-chan was small, too - 146 centimeters. Maybe that's why it struck me that hard.

That sounds right. I... The way she went berserk, near the end, I think I've seen something like that before too.

[...]

Are you sure you're alright?

Probably would be why, yes. I'm sorry that ended up bringing up what must have been bad memories for you.

[ Anyone with a brain could tell as much by her wording and general mannerisms with all this. ]

One of your missing memories, you suppose?

[ O h. Oh no. His smile lost a bit of it's sunniness then, though he sure was trying to keep it up for a moment. ]

[ With Ritsu looking at him like that? How... was he supposed to keep this up? ]

I truly must be feeling not at my best if i'm this transparent. Usually people can't tell.

Mn... It's less that I can't remember the event, and more that I can't remember the person in it. But something similar eventually happened to Kayano-chan.

[...Hm. So it's like that, is it...]

You're a bit like Chiba-kun, then. Do you want to talk?

That is truly unfortunate. My apologies, Miss Ritsu.

[ It's not immediately visible but eventually he appeared to deflate a bit, and some of his weariness began to show on his face now as well. ]

I suppose it would be best to do so, instead of keeping it all to myself as I have been. This place... it's wearing on me a little, you could say.

[So he really was forcing so much cheer... How long, she wonders, has he been hiding it?]

A burden shared is a burden halved, or so they say. I'd be more surprised if it wasn't taking a toll on you. ...People aren't built for this.

[ When it came down to it? Ritsu hit the nail on the head. At his core he wasn't nearly as cheerful as he tended to come off as, but to admit that to everyone just... it didn't feel right. ]

You're correct. I've just become used to handling everything as Captain of my Chasseur unit, keeping a smile up so their spirits won't be dampened.

[ Since fighting vampires could be a bit of a rough, harrowing job, then there was all this murder and yeah. Not built for this was right. ]

Even for one of faith like me, this much needless death is a lot. Being surrounded in it nearly feels like drowning and I have little power to stop it from happening.

[Oh... Her brow furrows. What would Sensei say, here? How would he approach this?]

Keeping up a confident and cheerful face is all well and good in the moment. It's not the kind of thing you can keep up indefinitely, though. Taking care of people is good, but you are also a person who needs care.

I know being helpless hurts. I hate it too. I...don't know how to help you or anyone else. But I want to keep trying to.

So...you don't have to be strong, for me.

[ Roland blinked a couple of times, much resembling a deer caught in headlights because gosh, how on earth had she managed to get right to the root of how he himself handled things like this? He practically wore his heart on his sleeve and a blinding smile most of the time, looking out for others but never really for himself.

He ran a hand through his hair, and surely at this distance Ritsu could entirely notice his posture isn't held as rigidly upright or strong anymore with one arm resting on the tabletop. As if he was supporting himself against the table with it. ]

It's... harder than it looks. Being strong for others. Remaining a pillar of strength for others to rely on... and some part of me almost feels awful that you get to see me like this.

[ Though it's telling that he is, infact letting his guard down with her. His fingers curled lightly against the table loosely and there's an odd darkness that flashed behind his eyes. ]

I'm used to having control, whether it was where I went or what I did. No vampire would escape Durandal's blade and I kept human lives safe, so seeing so many lives come to an end so easily? Simply put...? It's a failure that weighs on me at every moment.

[Looking at Roland now...she remembers how Korosensei sounded, when he told them what became of Aguri Yukimura. She's quiet, thinking over his words. Trying to find something that will help. Support fire is her role, after all, isn't it?]

It takes strength to trust other people, too. Like right now. Letting yourself be weak...is one of the bravest things I can imagine.

[What would Korosensei say? What would Nagisa tell Roland?]

It isn't going to get easier - you're not that kind of person. But you can keep trying. That's what I do. ...We can be failures who keep trying together.

[ It's funny what a couple of simple, well-phrased words could do for a morale boost. Her words manage to bring back his smile and the light back to his features once again. ]

Yeah? I think that sounds nice.

[ Okay so he doesn't actually think she's a failure but... hey. Not going to say that. He even straightened up a bit and while not all of that darkness and weariness left? It was clear he was doing a bit better already. ]

Let's go as far as we can. I believe in us, Miss Ritsu.

[There we go. Much better.]

I believe in us, too. There is still more we can do.

[As long as they work together, they aren't defeated yet.]

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Afterparty Buffet

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